11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
