Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
