She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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