Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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