you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
