She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
