Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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