I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
