Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
