I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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