After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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