Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
