The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
