Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
