Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
