worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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