oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
