is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
