ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
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We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
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As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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