DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
