Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
