after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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