Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dear god my vagina.
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