dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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