you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
