He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
So many bounce houses so little time
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
