And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
