His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize