quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
