somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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