Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
