Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
