New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
