Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize