i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
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