I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
not ubering you a puppy
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
