I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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