I'm drive I can fine osifer
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize