So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
