And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
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You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
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How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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