i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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