There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize