listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize