She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
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When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
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I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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