do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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