Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize