ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
