nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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