I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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