he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you