Moan for me like Helen Keller
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Semen is not good for contacts.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual