I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this