Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.