Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
