she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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