Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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