Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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