There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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