Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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