Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
