Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.

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(613): View more from Ontario

New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.

(1-613): View more from Ontario

We are no longer friends.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass

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(360): View more from Washington

Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery

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(815): View more from Illinois

Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?

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(734): View more from Michigan

Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.

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(979): View more from Texas

Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other

(1-979): View more from Texas

LOL its 11 am

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(310): View more from California

I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.

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