i just wanna soil my oats bro
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i just google imaged poop.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
