that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
