just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
