Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
